We don't come back from time.

It's obviously been a few months since I've last posted.  As I mentioned, I was in Ireland for a few weeks for school.  My family took care of Seamus while I was gone.  I worried about him all the time.  Especially when I got the news that his creatinine levels were back up.  The vet suggested we give him 150ml of fluids as opposed to the 100ml we had been giving him.  But the poor guy leaks.  They told us we could cut back to one Tumil-K a day, so that's good.

When I got back, in late January, I took Seamus in.  He's lost about a pound since November.  Not bad - could be worse.  His creatinine levels are back up again though.  The vet has him on a medication that I already can't remember the name of. It's to help his increasing phosphorous levels.  And then.

The dreaded Procrit.

He isn't making as many red blood cells anymore and we're afraid he will become anemic.  The vet said his body will build up antibodies to the Procrit within a few months and it won't work anymore.  At that point, I guess, the only option is blood transfusions.

I've tried not to think about the future.  I've been trying to just focus on the now and snuggling up with Seamus (when he lets me) and just letting him be my good boy instead of my sick boy.  The vet used the phrase "at the end of the disease" and I'm not sure what that means.  I'm not sure if that means he's going to die soon or if we're in the absolute worst stages.

I don't know what will happen if he needs a transfusion and my broke ass can't afford it.  My parents have made it painfully clear that they don't support me financially when it comes to my pets.  I sometimes wonder if I'm the one that invests too much in my boys.  It's not like I'd keep Seamus alive if he's in pain or struggling for breath.  But when are you supposed to take the responsibility and decide how much longer they get to live?

So yeah. That's why I try not to think about the future because the future is soon. The future is next month's vet visit when he's still not better. Because, ya know, it's impossible for him to get better. I can only imagine there will be more vet visits ending in tears in the near future.

20 Days Without The Fur Babies.

Tomorrow morning I hop a plane to Ireland without my two boys, Seamus and Baby.  This is the longest I will have ever been away from them before.  I've been telling them throughout the days that their aunt will take care of them but I think that's more for my benefit than I believe it is for theirs.  I have had a suitcase opened in the spare bedroom for a few days now but Seamus never cared.  Well, until tonight when I started packing.  Of course he jumps right in and just sits there.

I took Seamus to the vet two days ago and got the results yesterday morning.  His creatinine levels have gone back up.  They're at 6.6 now when they were 5.8ish a few weeks ago.  His phosphorous levels went down, so that's good news.  However, he lost 2 ounces.  Le sigh...  I blame myself for the increase in creatinine.  I wasn't that responsible about giving him his fluids over the last few weeks and I even knew he wasn't feeling right.  The doctor said that Seamus should be put back on everyday fluids.  Again, le sigh...

So, yeah.  Seamus has had his fluids three days in a row now and is doing much better.  Earlier this evening, Baby was just walking by, minding his own business when Seamus came out of nowhere and pounced in front of him then bounded off down the hall.  Clearly he's feeling better.

I've resorted to feeding him Fancy Feast again just to fatten him up.  I'm kind of desperate for him to gain some weight back.  He's not even aggressive or particularly pushy when it comes to asking for food.  He just sits at my feet and stares at me.  Baby, however, will paw at the paper plates.

I've resorted back to the wet food which of course means that Baby has been eating it too.  The little stinker growled at Seamus the other night for sniffing his share.

Tonight, Seamus was on his box, pawing at the refill of his fluids.  The refill is sitting in a blue plastic bag, hanging on the door handle.  He then stared up at the fluids.  We always do his subQs in the same spot, so I thought for sure he was asking for fluids.  So I warmed them up and of course by the time I was ready, he had lost interest.  But he was a good boy as usual: sat down for us and stayed very still.  He's gotten so comfortable with it that he doesn't even run away when we're done.

Baby, however, doesn't know how to keep his nose out of Seamus's business.  As soon as he hears the noises of the bag and the hanger, he comes running over.  He will jump up on the tote just to see what's going on.  These are pictures of Baby jumping up after the fluids were done.  I realize they're very blurry and silly looking but that's the best you can get with cats sometimes.

So.... there we have it.  I have to leave my boys in the morning and it's pretty sad.  I hope they don't get too comfy with their aunt :)

Murry Catmus!

Hi everyone!  I have been meaning to update about Seamus but once December hit, all hell seemed to break loose with school.  Suddenly every class had a million projects due.  Thank god for my sister.  If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be able to keep my head straight about which days Seamus needed his fluids.  My days were so long and exhausting that I would forget what day it was.

Seamus hasn't been required to return to the vet since his last visit.  I'll be leaving the country on the 31st for about 20 days so the vet wants him in a few days before I leave just to make sure he's on the right track. Seamus's treatment has been fluids three times a day of about 100ml or more if he's still, his Tumil-K twice a day and his normal Purina Adult Cat food.  I've started warming up the fluids in a Ziplock bag in the bathroom sink before administering them.  He responds much better this way.  Last week we had an incident where we didn't even get 50ml in before he was struggling to get away.  We decided afterwards that it's best to always warm the fluids.  He doesn't twitch afterwards or lick himself feverishly; he doesn't get all cranky.  It's just better all around.

There had been a stint there where I didn't give Seamus his fluids for quite a few days.  Maybe three.  (Maybe four =/ )  It was completely unintentional but again, the days just escaped me.  When I finally remembered to do the fluids, Seamus was more than willing.  He had been sitting across the hall in my sister's room when I started fiddling with the bag.  As soon as he saw me and heard the hanger it hangs from, he leaped up and ran over to me.  He's no dumb cat.  He knows what's food for him :)

The food I've been struggling with.  I was feeding him Fancy Feast twice a day for a little bit there but I didn't feel like it was doing any good.  For my budget, it was kind of expensive.  It won't be such a big deal when I get back from Ireland, but for now it feels like a lot.  I also conferred with a renal failure support group that I'm in and everyone agreed that Fancy Feast isn't necessarily healthy food.  It was suggested to me to look into grain-free food.  I'll ask the vet when I go back on the 28th, but for now, Seamus will continue with his Purina crunchies.

Anyway, Seamus has been doing great.  He's been defending himself and running around like the playful boy I know he has inside.  He's also been addicted to this box that used to be in my sister's room.  I'm not sure what it is about it or maybe it's just the warmth it generates, but Seamus loves it to death.  He spends all of his time on this damn box.  We've had to put more papers in it so that he doesn't sink so much when he lies on it.  It's like... it's his throne.  Which is so fitting for Seamus's personality.

I thought it would be nice to try to take some photos of both of my babies with my mini tree in my room.  My sister has wrapped some gifts up for them and put them under the tree.  She's such a good aunt to them. Anywhere, here are these silly boys.  These were taken after Seamus's fluids last night.

   

The top right picture was taken shortly after the picture at the top of this post.  Baby had decided to stretch out on the floor and extend his little toesies to touch Seamus's tail.  This was literally seconds after Seamus's fluids, so he wasn't having it.  Seamus took a few steps forward and sat in front of me.  I thought this was the most perfect photo opportunity for the two of these little boos.  Then I took the box down from on top of his throne and put Seamus's fishnets inside.  I should have taken a picture, but honestly, I doubt you would have been able to see them.  My sister went to go get some head ornamental things but of course Seamus ran into her room once he heard her moving around.  We will get pictures though.... I promise... Well, I doubt I will be posting on Christmas or even the day after, so I would like to wish you all happy holidays.  I hope all of your fur babies are safe and warm inside, where they belong.  Don't leave them out of the festivities!

Stubborn Steven and a Nervous Nelly

Nervous nelly.

Seamus is being less and less cooperative with each trip we take to the vet.  And rightfully so, of course.  Our first visit, a few weekends ago, he willingly walked into his carrier.  But now he knows what to expect and fights me, as most cats do.  This was my first visit alone.  Normally my mom or sister goes with me.  They have medical backgrounds so I feel more comfortable with them understanding and knowing what extra questions should be asked.

Upon walking into the vet's office, I saw two kittens in the cage that they keep up front.  One was orange, one gray- just like my boys.  It really made me miss the days when they were super duper tiny and would fall asleep in my lap and would curl up around my neck while I slept.  Back then, Seamus had had an upper respiratory infection and I was so worried for him.  We cranked up the heat (I had my own apartment at the time) and would wrap him in blankets- of course after taking him to the vet and giving him antibiotics.  But it was just such a much more simpler time, ya know?  Now we're into subQs and creatinine levels.

Must nuzz all the things. 

As I mentioned in two posts ago, Seamus's creatinine drop a little more than 3 points which is great!  He weighs the same amount, 12.6lbs which kinda makes me sad that he hasn't gained any more weight back since the two weeks of treatment we've been doing.  The vet ordered some of the Canin renal food for us, which I was very grateful for.  Again, she offered to do his subQs and they took some blood.  He came back in really grumpy; his ears were played back and he wouldn't even look at me.  He purposely sat facing me, then got up and turned around so that his butt faced me.  Sorry, Seamus, but it's for your own good.

The vet called the following day with his creatinine levels.  They have gone down to 5.6! (Or 5.9)  This makeh me so happeh!  Of course Seamus is all, whatever.  But this means that his body is responding positively to doing subQs at 100ml three times a week.  He has also had a considerable amount of Purina adult food and chicken flavored Fancy Feast  in the last week but I don't know.  The vet still wants me to try to keep him on mostly renal diet, but again, he's being a butthead.  He ate up the Canin food the first night we had it.  Of course, in the morning, he had had enough.  I mixed the turkey broth with it but I guess that's a bit too old now and should just toss it.  I'm also worried about the protein?  I don't exactly understand the full concept of why CRF cats aren't supposed to consume too much protein....  But how much protein is in turkey stock really?  Or tuna water.  I have yet to mix the Canin with the Fancy Feast but I imagine it will be the same outcome.  Man, some people's cats will eat this stuff for breakfast and dinner but Seamus just won't budge.

So again, Seamus is improving which is awesome!  I just wish he would eat the food so it would help out his kidney function even more.  And of course since I've been feeding the Fancy Feast- even if I leave crunchies out, Seamus will still wake me up at 7am for food.  Granted, this is better than the 3am that we struggled with before so I guess I should pick my battles.

The vet also said that considering the functionality of his kidneys, his urine is in great condition.  Not entirely sure what that means or what kind of perspective she's considering, but I'll take it!  She did say, however, that he does not have any protein in his urine so, yeah, positive!

Seamus's bandage

Also, when we were at the vet, Seamus bruised after getting his blood taken so they wrapped him up with some gauze and some kind of stretchy Ace bandage type thing?  Of course he hated it and kept shaking his leg.  I wanted to get a picture of him in it but he kept his tail curled around it tightly.  Then when I got home, I didn't have the heart to leave it on him any longer.  Of course, my lazy self should have put it in the trash instead of leaving it on a plastic tote.  Because apparently it became a cat toy in the middle of the night.  And of all cats to be playing with it, it's Baby!  When he first smelled Seamus upon returning from the vet, Baby hissed at him and even growled this time.  So for him to play with the gauze/bandage seems really weird.

I don't need to take him back for another few weeks.  I'm leaving the country for 20 days starting December 31st so I'll be taking him a few days before that.  I'm really nervous about leaving him, obviously.  One, I feel guilty for other people having to take care of him.  Two, my mom and sister will be away for about 5-6 days while I'm away and it will be up to my dad to give him his fluids.  My dad has always been a very anti-cat person but I know he'll take care of my fur babies.  I still have lingering thoughts in the back of my head of him trying to hold Seamus down for the subQs and it just getting ugly and nasty.  It's also a two person job.  Oh fuckin great, now I've totally gotten myself really worried.  If I have difficulty doing it alone, how should I expect him to be able to do it?  Maybe the vet will be nice enough to do it for him for free.  Seamus can be a real stinker when he doesn't want to do things.

Anyway, after this upcoming visit, the vet said that we should be down to one vet visit a month now.  I'm sure he's relieved, I know I am.

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook.

-Julia Child



Yeah. That would be Seamus.  This freakin cat is being the biggest poop about his food.  I bought the chicken flavored Fancy Feast and mixed it with both of the renal canned foods I had.  He barely touched it.  I knew this would happen.  Oh, did I also mention that I crockpotted (that's a word, right?) BROTH for him?  My parents purchased a big ol' turkey breast as extra meat for Thanksgiving.  It was cooked plain- so I took the carcass and threw some water in a crockpot and set it on warm and left it overnight.  I made broth.  For Seamus.  I mixed it with some of the renal food- I even warmed it in the microwave.  No luck.  I'm taking Seamus back to the vet on Friday, hopefully they ordered in some of the Canin food.  Seamus's girlfriend (the vet), said that was the most palatable brand. 

Also, are there recipes for cat gravy?  I mean like the kind that comes in wet food cans.  That seems to be what Seamus eats first, then he'll consider eating the bits that are left.  I imagine... some sort of gelatin?

I've given up and have just started giving him the Fancy Feast.  Baby (my other fur-son) obviously knew what was up with the food.  I couldn't not give him some of the wet noms.  And they do this silly thing where I put food in front of each of them, but they go over to the other's dish to eat.   However, here is a picture of the two of them eating together.  No growling, no fussing.  Just chowin' down on some good ol' Fancy Feast.  Of course, that night, they both woke me up.  Baby was walking around me, meowing at me, nudging me, scraping on my wardrobe.  Ain't no rest for the wicked I guess, but man, give a girl a break every now and then.  I've tried to start feeding them later in the evening so there's less of a chance of them waking me up.  So far it seems to be working.

Seamus got to take Thanksgiving off for his subQs.  Lucky boy.  But Friday and Monday we were at it again.  He has a little box that he likes to sleep on, so we always set him up on top of it.  Usually he'll just curl up and accept it but yesterday was particularly hard.  And ever since I put the whole unit into a freezer bag and warmed it up, there have been a bunch of bubbles in the line.  Apparently all you have to do it flick the line til the bubbles roll to the top (thanks, Mom!) but it's still just a little annoying. 

Giving the fluids is getting easier.  I don't know what I would do if I lived alone.  I am so grateful and thankful for having my mom and sister around to help me out (both nurses).  More than that, I would need someone to read the bag and open/close the line while I'm trying to keep him from running off (about 100ml mark).  Of course, Baby will be up in his perch and see us fussing over Seamus which will force him to come down and see what's going on. 

 Baby still has his tendencies of being a little jerk to Seamus.  But that's what baby brothers are for, right?  Even if they aren't related, right?  According to my sister, she laid down for a nap earlier with Baby (who will sometimes be referred to as "the baby") and Seamus jumped up and pressed his head against Baby's face and had him lick his head.  Baby obliged for a little bit and Seamus just curled up beside my sister and napped with them.  These are the things I like to hear :)

Here's hoping that the vet visit will be positive on Friday.  I'm a little worried that the extra "normal" cat food won't be helping his creatinine levels.  I should ask the vet about his phosphorous and protein levels as well.  His blood work revealed a few other things that were out of healthy ranges but were never mentioned to me.  I'm sure they're all just a result of the kidney issue but it wouldn't hurt to ask.

Well, it's bed time for us.  Seamus is sleeping in front of my sister's full length mirror.  This is a new past time for him.  He likes to face it and look at himself or sleep.  Of course other times he likes to see what's going on in the room.  Basically, Seamus just like to be near things that have changed or moved.  He's such a character.  So is Baby though.  I love my boys.

Good News For The Lot Of Us!

I continue to struggle with Seamus and eating.  I feel like he is waiting for something better, since I've been trying a new food almost every day.  Okay, so there's only been three different kinds.  He likes his first meal but quickly loses interest.  "This again, Mom?"  He is keeping me up all hours of the night, knocking things over, closing my laptop, meowing at me, and just being a huge pain.  While I am grateful that he has this energy and zest, it's driving me crazy.  

His face after the exciting call from the vet!

However, the doctor called this evening with some awesome news.  Seamus's creatinine levels have gone from 8.5 to 7.3!  This means everything we've been doing so far is benefiting his charming little self.  We can now cut back to fluids 3 times a week instead of every day.  And now I can introduce some of his normal food into his renal diet.  I'm not sure how well this is going to work out.  The doc prefers wet food for the extra liquid.  I've read that a bunch of CRF cat owners buy Fancy Feast.  I'm not sure why that is.  Hopefully I'll be able to mix the renal with the wet and hope he isn't the wiser.  But he will be.  He always is!

Earlier tonight, Seamus was just chillin' on the floor when Baby came over.  Baby was rooting around in Seamus's booty and Seamus swatted him in the face.  I haven't seen Seamus assert himself like this in a long time.  Little things like this have been happening which has put Baby back in his place.   Baby had been going out of his way to attack and annoy Seamus for a little over a month now, but it seems to be winding down now.  My sister has texted me with updates of them lying next to each other and licking each other.  Of course, it turns into biting but at least they are having some good moments!  Currently, they are both sleeping on the same cat tree.  Granted, they're sleeping on different levels but I know they sense each others' presence.

Seamus is due back in to see the vet next week.  I'm supposed to them bring him in every couple weeks/month.  Man, I've done a complete 180 from just a week ago.  Yesterday will be a week of dealing with this renal failure.  I went from completely sobbing, drooling, and hiccuping to level-headed and calm.  Sure, the idea that he has an issue and probably won't live out a full cat life and yes, that makes me incredibly sad and if I think about it too long, I start to cry about it.  (Also, commas.)  But for now, it's best to just be grateful for the quasi-healthy little guys that I have right now.  I know tough times are ahead for sure.  In the now is where I need to be.  So that's where I'll try to be.

I would love to hear from any other owners out there with CRF companions!  Positive suggestions and/or anecdotes are always welcome!

Picky Eaters and Vet Visits

Yesterday was a great day with Seamus. During the night, he had been knocking cups over, walking across my laptop (that I keep opened while I sleep), and being his normal disruptive self.  He had been scratching at my wardrobe, since that's where I keep his food.  It was probably 3am, so it took me a while to figure out what he wanted.  I put some crunchies in his food and he just looked at me.  I put some water in it and he gobbled it up.  Throughout the day he was running around, lying near Baby, playing around and just being an awesome cat. Of course, that night (last night), he refused to eat.  He had had enough of this kidney diet crap.  I was afraid to give him human food, but I read that I could put some catnip in it to try to entice him.

This didn't work.  So he jumped up on the bed next to me, suddenly noticed his Fishies, jumped down, picked them up, and brought them to his dish and began eating.

This picture is proof that Seamus had eaten.

The vet called me on my way to school yesterday morning, asking me to bring Seamus in for a follow-up.  She said we would be checking his creatinine levels.  If his creatinine levels went up, it was means for concern.  If they went down or remained the same, then we could maintain the same treatment we have been  running with so far.  The increase in creatinine means that his kidneys are working overtime and that we would have to consider more aggressive treatment.

Getting ready for the vet wasn't as easy as the last two visits.  I hadn't given seamus his subQ fluids or his potassium pill, so I thought I stood a chance for a not-so-cranky Seamus.  Unfortunately, his blue carrier is officially associated with bad times at the vet.  It was only a matter of time.

The visit was good.  He's put about eight ounces back on.  The vet said some of it could be the fluids, but that's okay with me.  She gave me some canned foods to try with him.  I've since given him some and he lurves it.  Let's just hope he keeps that up.  The vet was thoughtful enough to ask if I'd given him his subQs and offered to do it for me for free.  (See why I love her so much?)

When we were in the waiting room, there was this nasty little dog that kept yapping at Seamus and me. I felt particularly bad for Seamus this time around.  I took out my hair tie and put it through the holes.  I accidentally misspoke and said, "Do you want your fishies?"  In Seamus language, fishies = his favorite pair of red fishnets.  He's obsessed with them just as much as hair ties.  Seamus has had the same pair of fishnets since he was less than a year old.  Anyway, the owner of the yappy dog says, "Oh, I bet you wish you had some fish treats too, huh?"  I'm like, lady, if you even knew what fishies meant.  I decided just to smile.

Anyway, the blood work was initially supposed to have been run at the vet but it was sent out to a lab.  Unfortunately this means that I won't get his results on his creatinine levels until Friday but the vet said Seamus doesn't need his subQs tomorrow.  This makes me so happy for him.  He's been sitting through pretty uncomfortable treatments like such a champ.  I'm going to keep looking into his condition to see how I can make some things easier on him.  First thing on my list is to warm the IV bag before I give him his subQs.  Watching him twitch as the water moved around his body was a little disheartening.

Well, that about wraps it up.  Seamus has bounced back incredibly well and I couldn't be happier.  Fingers are crossed for positive news on Friday :)


Hey- have a happy Thanksgiving tomorrow, folks.  Stay safe and try to be kind to your family (the pinkies as well as the fur).