Monday, November 19, 2012

Guilt and Roller Coasters

This is my third day of knowing that Seamus has "low kidney function."  The tech referred to it as "kidney disease."  The research I've done points to CRF (or chronic renal failure).  All of those phrases/terms are pretty devastating, don'tcha think?  It all feels pretty roller-coasterific right now.  Seamus and I used to start our day together when my alarm went off and he would follow me around like an orange and white shadow.  Now the alarm goes off, I give him his Tumil-K (potassium supplement), give him his Prescription Diet k/d Feline Renal Health crunchies, and dread the subcutaneous (or subQ) fluids I will have to administer later in the day.  And then I go about my normal business... with him following me around like a white and orange shadow.

Ok, to translate all of that for people that don't have a pet with CRF...  Low kidney function causes a potassium deficiency, so Seamus has been prescribed a supplement to help with that.  The subQ fluids are fluids that are administered with a needle under the skin.  I have an IV bag set up in my room and a little baggy of new needles.  The fluids are to help with dehydration.  Some cats begin vomiting and stop drinking water when their kidneys start failing them.  The vet tech said we were just flushing out his kidneys, and to do it everyday. 150ml of solution inserted into his scruff.  Lastly, the renal health food is supposed to minimize the stress on the kidneys (so says the description).

While I haven't received an official diagnosis of "chronic renal function," I'm accepting that that is what it is.  The vet is supposed to call me tomorrow to talk more about Seamus's future.  She had mentioned a possible kidney biopsy, but I don't think I want to put Seamus through that.  She also said it's possible that he could be in early signs of kidney cancer.  Please, shoot me now.

So... what does this all mean?  I'm not entirely sure yet. I've been doing some research, joining online support groups, and just trying to keep a straight head about it.  All I can think of is, "Why didn't I look up his extreme thirst or his extreme number of trips to the litter box?"  Now that I look at the symptom list for CRF, he has almost every single one.  He's been having this excessive drinking/peeing thing for over a year now.  We tested his urine last year and he was fine.  I have no idea why we didn't check his blood.  Maybe the doc ruled out kidney issues because Seamus is so young (he's only 5).   Also, let me make it blatantly clear that I love Seamus's vet.  I completely trust her judgement for the care of my fur babies.  And she has always given him compliments and said how handsome he is.  She always gives me options and always knows how much everything costs.  She's fully aware that out-of-pocket medical care is not easy.  And Seamus responds to her incredibly well, so I call her his girlfriend.

I figure I'm starting this blog to 1. cope and 2. maybe provide a space for people who are going through the same thing I am.  I searched for blogs like mine and the only ones I found were.... finished.  So, while I don't want to make Seamus a spectacle (meaning, I don't want to blow his health out of proportion and I would rather treat him like a "normal" cat), I would like to connect with the community that I know is out there.  It would also serve as a good log for how he's doing :) I'll also post about the other fur baby, Baby (real name: Jameson).

So that is all for my first post about Seamus.  I didn't think it was entirely necessary to go into the hysterical crying that occurred when I was on the phone with the vet.  Or how I almost had a break down when I had to give Seamus his subQ.  Things aren't horrendous right now, so there's no need in posting negatively.  If and when things do get hard, however, I fully reserve the right to flip my shit.


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